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I feel awful for posting this but I’m really just a bit lost now.

partner was diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma. Had a full lymph node dissection in December and out of 35 they took out only one was positive for cancer.

his anxiety about his next CT scan must be weighing on his mind and I can’t imagine what he’s feeling but now absolutely everything relates back to his cancer. If I mention that I didn’t like something he said to me he goes off the rails and end up screaming at me saying that he’s setting up a life for me so I can live with the next person after he’s gone.

his results have been so positive so far and he already had a very negative mind-state before he got cancer but I feel Im doing such a disservice to him and that I can’t properly care for him in the way he needs but I also can’t figure out what that need is. He is booking golf trips with his friends and buying things that make him happy but I always seem to get the bad side of him and it’s really wearing me down.

His insults have put me at the end of my rope and I had to call his mother and sister to ask them to talk to him and now I just feel like a complete failure.

Has anyone been through a situation with cancer with a negative mindset partner with anxiety. Should I expect this from him for the next 5 years until he gets the all clear? I can feel the resentment building up and I just hate myself for it.

I learned that sometimes stepping back a bit and giving him space helps, and little things like letting him unwind on his own, he’d sometimes order random stuff online, like a new water-pipe from SmokeDay.com just to relax, actually made a difference. It doesn’t mean you’re failing.